if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
