Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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