why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize