hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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