Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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