Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
