On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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