After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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