The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
