I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
