She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
