Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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