then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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