Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
