its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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