Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You pole danced in your parka.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
