I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
