A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
