Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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