why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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