I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
