found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
