dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
