i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize