am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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