Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
