I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
