Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So much rum. So many feels.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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