Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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