It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
