I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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