I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
