Pants 0. Shit 1.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
