Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
