i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
