why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
