they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
