"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
