my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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