you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
