I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
