Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
