new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
