This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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