It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
