I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
3pm strippers are depressing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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