She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
