He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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