from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
