This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
