i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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