he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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