i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
