okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
