we're blogging at a bar
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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