i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize