We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need water and some morals
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
