So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
