If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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