He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
