chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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