His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
