but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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