even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
