so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just tell him i said nine months
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
