Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the day after is always just damage control
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize