So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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