You don't have asthma, your pregnant
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
