you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
