I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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