Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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